The Beginning

It occurred to me that I should do a little intro blog before delving into my life now. A little pre kids story if you will.
Henry and I met in 1996 when we both started working at the same new restaurant in our area. We both found out how old each other was & thought,"Oh, no well maybe we can at least be friends." The age difference is only two years but when you are talking 18 & 16 years old you understand the, "Oh, no." Well, we did become friends and got married in 1998 right after he graduated from boot camp. We moved to Jacksonville, N.C. because he was stationed at Camp Lejuene. We had our first "little girl" Chloe she was our chocolate Cocker Spaniel who was just the sweetest thing. It wasn't much of a town but we made some good friends and have some good memories from living there. We had just started talking about trying for our first offical baby when Henry got the news that he was going to Korea for a year. Needless to say we put it all on hold. We decided since it was his last year in we would move down to Orlando so that I would be with my family & friends while he was away for the year. He got home in 2002 and we've been here ever since.
While we were in Jacksonville we did have some fertility testing done since it seemed we couldn't get pregnant. They said everything looked fine on both sides and that maybe if I were to lose some weight I would be "good to go". So after we bought our first home I decided it was time to get the weight off and see what happened. It took me a year but I did lose about 40 lbs and that was without excersing (I really regret not doing it all the time!). My cousin invited us to go on a vacation with her & some others to Vegas and it sounded liek too much fun to pass up. We had a blast and we def. did things that will "stay in Vegas". Much to my surprise the next month I took a pregnancy test and there it was a very, very faint line saying I was pregnant! We were so excited and we told everyone. I found a O.B. and had my first apppointment made. I went and got all the goodies they give you as a new mom to be and we had a questions & answers with the nurse (we would see the Dr. & our baby on the next appt). When I arrived back at work however I was in a sevre amount of pain when I called the office they told me to go home & lay down, and to try & relax. I knew though what all moms who want to be moms so badly knew, I was mis carrying my little baby. I called Henry in a panick & he rushed home as soon as he could but there was nothing he or I could do. I was 8 weeks that day and my baby was gone.
I have never felt quite so much pain before in my heart as I did in that moment of realizing that I couldn't hang on to and protect the tiny little life I was blessed with. I could hardly look at Henry and making the three phone calls we had to make was unbearable. I hated the book What To Expect since I had already started reading it immediatley, and was trying so hard to figure out what I had done wrong. It was hard for me to "move on" after losing our baby and there felt like there was no closure I mean after all it's not like you have a funeral for something liek that. We did however decide to pray and that seemed to put my soul at ease I knew that our little baby was in a better place for whatever the reason he/she was with the Lord and that's just where they needed to be.
This is where I'm gonna stop at for now. It's getting late & this is getting longer by the second. I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow in a new blog and then after that one the present will begin. Stay tunned.